Sunday, May 30, 2010

I Can't Fix It

I run for dear life to God, I'll never live to regret it.
Do what you do so well:
get me out of this mess and up on my feet.
Put your ear to the ground and listen,
give me space for salvation.
Be a guest room where I can retreat;
you said your door was always open!
You're my salvation—my vast, granite fortress.

Psalm 71:3 (The Message)

I’ve struggled for many years with a sense of “I can fix it” syndrome. When my life took turns and detours, my first thought is “I can fix it”. I’ve allowed myself to have this false sense of ability. To believe that if I was the one to mess it up, I was the one that was going to fix it. – I had to, it was my mistake.

Very early in my years I was involved in a relationship that took a wrong turn and ended up very badly. The other part of the relationship took a total nose-dive and not only went down the wrong road, but completely “derailed”. They made mistake after mistake, went though one disastrous relationship after another and all the while, I sat back and thought to myself “I can fix this”. Or “I should have fixed it”. I had moved on but their destructive actions haunted me because I played the “if I would have…” “if I hadn’t had…” card over and over again in my mind.

Fast forward several years- my life goes on but I still have this “I can fix it” mind-set. I continue to make mistakes, watch others around me that I love and care about make mistakes and my first impression is “I can fix it”. That’s always my first thought- what can I do to help? How can I help fix it? I’m not sure how to shut it off but… I am guilty of trying to hold onto it and fix it myself because my mind is telling me that I’m the one that made the mistake in the first place. I feel really guilty scooping up the entire heap of wrong rubble and handing it over to God to fix- it’s like handing a broken toy to a parent in hopes that they can make it right. By laying our mistakes at His feet and allowing Him to have it- He does more than fix the situation- He fixes US.

Friends- it is NOT our job to “fix it”. It is our job as Christians to pray, listen, support and bottom line- GIVE IT TO GOD to handle. If it’s a mistake that we’ve made or another that we’ve inflicted intentionally or even unintentionally- GIVE IT TO GOD. We can NOT undo the past. We are NOT saviors. There is only One Savior and He’s more than willing and capable of fixing it.

Something I heard recently that I really needed to hear and has helped me immensely is this: We all have made mistakes, hurt others, and been in situations and relationships that have been lethal at times. And whether it was our choice to be in them, we mistakenly got involved or even volunteered for the heartache, and it turned out to be one big huge mistake- we don’t have the ability to fix it. It’s our job to confess, repent and give it up to God. Regardless of what happened or who was hurt, if we give it to God to fix- He will make something good of it, regardless of how bad we made it to begin with. Let me say this, it is important that we take responsibility for our actions- I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t say we’re sorry and apologize. Sometimes that can really help the situation down the healing path, and once we’ve done that- allow God to have it because only He can fix it perfectly. I can't fix it.

Father, I praise you that you are the Utlimate "Fixer"! You are and always have been the One person who has seen me through every mistake, every wrong turn, every wrong path and still You allow me to be within Your Mercy and Grace! Thank you for loving me through the mistakes, and for the knowledge that I have in You, that even when I fall- You will always be there to fix it if I give it all to You. Help me to always remember that. In Jesus Name.


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